tools in his hands

this is from an update that i wrote on september 11, also published on our website. please note that there is this post and the one below.

She walked into clinic looking no different from many of the other woman who walked in that day. She had waited all day for this consulta, yet as my last patient of the day, my mind was already starting to think ahead to what needed to be done before we would get home and to all that waited for us there. She sat down in the chair across from me, starting her story with a sure voice. She was here because her stomach hurt and because she got nervous when her husband yelled at her. I smiled quietly to myself at her complaint as I checked her blood pressure and listened to her stomach. As I got ready give her the tums for her gastritis, I thought of how I would explain that there is no medicine for nervousness when her husband yells at her. So, thinking that there is really only one sure remedy for nervousness, I asked her if she was in a church. She looked down at her hands briefly, and then charged ahead (talking through Rosa, our Quiche-Spanish translator) with the reason that we so often hear. “My husband will not let me go.” As I was getting ready to ask her to explain further, she was, to my surprise, already talking again; she was not forceful in her explanation, but she was missing the apathy that appears to accompany so many of the talks about God that we have, and I was surprised by her willingness and seeming interest to talk further on this subject. She explained that she had five kids, would like to go to church, but was told by her husband that he would kick them out of the house if he ever found out that they had gone to church. Spurred on by her openness, I asked her whether she wanted a relationship with Christ. At the quick nod of her head and “yes” in Quiche, I ventured ahead carefully, praying that this woman would see the hope and freedom that Christ offers through the words that God would hopefully speak through Rosa and I. This is one issue that I have thought and prayed through many times, so I chose my words carefully as I tried to present the hope of a personal relationship with Christ in balance with the discipleship that church offers to a woman who is telling me that she will be cut off from all sources of survival if she sets foot in a church. I started by telling her that a relationship with God is first of all a decision that she makes in her heart, and that is something that her husband or her church can never have control over nor make any decisions about; her husband may have a lot of control over many things in her life, but this is not one of them. And she could make this decision in her heart and not even tell her husband… just love him and pray for him while walking in her heart on the path of God. I was amazed by the “light bulb” that seemed to go off as she sat back in her chair and asked if that was really true, as if the thought had never occurred to her. I then told her that if she really wanted to make that decision, she could make it right now in that very room. Again, shocked by the immediate response of yes, Rosa and I prayed with her and then Rosa led her through a prayer of acceptance which she confidently repeated. I gave her a bible, which she told me her cousin could read to her, and asked her to come back the next week when she could talk to a leader in the church if she had any questions. And I told her that we would be praying for her. I cannot explain the state I left that room in. I have talked to many people here about God, but rarely have I felt that they truly understood. And I can accept this; we are from two very different cultures and why would they take anything from me – a young white girl? But to be able to be a part of God using two young girls, one “gringa,” to reach His love into the heart of one searching Mayan mother was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had in my life.