martina

tuesday, august 15

martina (seen in the picture to the left) is a little girl who lives with us. she is about 8 years old and the fickers have legal custody of her. her family says that when she was younger, she had a fever and then developed seizures, one of which threw her into the fire. she burned the whole of her face and some of one hand and arm. at this point, she became a disgrace to her family and required many surgeries and much care. her mother brought her to the clinic and asked leslie if they would take her. the fickers have had many parents ask them to take their children (they are actually in the process of adopting two little girls from two separate families that also did not want their children), but they would be overrun if they took in every child whose parents did not want them. so, they continued to check up on martina, and one day this brought them out to her house where they found her tied up in a corner. her mother stated that she hated her and wished she was never born. duane and leslie prayed about what they were to do in this situation and both received confirmation that they were to take in martina. her mother has come to the clinic a few times since then, but rarely even asks about how martina is doing.

i have heard this story before, but sometimes mere words do not really paint the full picture. a couple months ago, martina’s mother had a baby that was born dead. she was fine for a month and then starting have sporadic, heavy bleeding every few days. last night, she came to the clinic so that leslie could examine her to make sure that she was okay. after doing the examination and getting more of the story first-hand, we decided that she was fine and gave her some vitamins, rehydration solution, and iron to help counteract her blood loss and exhaustion. leslie started to talk to her about how much of her current state was probably closely related to the huge sense of loss she must feel over the recent death of her term baby, but martina’s mother stated that she was not sad over the death of her baby. leslie and nicolasa (a good friend who works for the fickers who was helping translate) then talked with her about God and how He is moving in this situation, but she just sat there silently picking her nails and staring at her hands.

i would like to blame it on tiredness and the fact that i am still getting used to the culture. or that i still do not understand much of the spanish being spoken. but, as i took this mother’s blood pressure, i was overcome with so many millions of feelings – rage, sorrow, frustration, confusion, evil, protection of martina. here was a mother who hated her daughter so much that not only was she willing to get rid of her, but she was willing to tie her up to keep her from showing her face and shaming the family. as i stood there, i was so angry as i thought of how much love martina was denied by her family. i wanted to run from the room and find her and just hold her and tell her how much she is loved, even though she would have no idea what i am saying, and i am not even sure how much she can mentally comprehend. i have never so blatantly understood my own self-absorption and pride until that moment when my eyes were opened to understand what it is to truly love and protect someone who seemingly cannot offer you anything in return.

and yet at the same time as i was so angry with this woman in front of me, i wanted to cry for her too. i was overwhelmed with sadness and frustration at the question of what could possibly cause a mother’s heart to become so hard, so cold, so apathetic towards two of her children. it was these questions and feelings that haunted me as i left the room and sat on the back porch looking out over beautiful mountain ranges that housed a people that i do not understand. tears streamed down my face as i silently cried out to the Creator of all, knowing that in my feelings of confusion, it is not He who has moved, but that it is my heart that is being changed, my eyes that are being opened to a different area of my Lord and Father’s heart. and i had the most beautiful image of jesus, walking among these hills, walking among these people. he healed their physical needs, he ate their food, he took their rejection on himself and responded only with love and teaching, softening hearts that have been hardened by years of abuse and rejection.

as leslie, hannah and i talked about this situation later last night, they talked a lot about the spiritual bondage that is everywhere in these hills. there is still active worship and, in some places human sacrifices, made to gods that these mayans have been worshipping for thousands of years. martina’s grandfather was a local witch doctor who had 12 wives and lots of sons. he started coming to the clinic for help with his blood pressure a few years ago, and through much conversation prayer, he got saved. he continued to come to the clinic and would tell leslie how he was still hearing the voices of these demons, how he could not sleep at night because they were so strong. he soon stopped coming and leslie heard that he had gone back to his witch doctor ways.

we have talked many times about the generational effects of the demonic forms of worship that are practiced here. as leslie pointed out, there is spiritual warfare everywhere, it just takes on different forms here. how true. i am not used to the warfare experienced here, and the practice and effects of it still shock me and confuse me. a good friend made the remark before i left that i will be a different person the next time he sees me. i had not thought of that before then and kind of blew off the comment. but i have thought about it a lot lately. as i am living with these people, i am seeing a whole new side of life, a whole new side of creation, a whole new side of God, a whole new side of faith. i am still shocked by the blatant, “out in the open” spiritual warfare that has such a hold over these people’s hearts and lives.

as I opened my bible last night, it (ironically) fell open to these words:

“for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the… spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” ephesians 6:12 & 13