one woman plus five children plus no food equals...
we first saw her husband about a year and a half ago when he came into our clinic with a large welt-like raised mark along the side of his neck, looking much like a nasty scar, thin and slithery like a worm and heading down towards his chest. he had been to several places seeking out help, but no amount of bloodwork or treatments had helped him, and he continued to get worse. we also were not sure what we were looking at as we examined him, so we treated him for a fungal infection and asked him to come back the following week, giving us some time to talk to other docs to see if we could figure out what it was. he never came back.
a few months ago, a woman came in with her five children in tow, aged 8 years old to five months old. she quietly explained to me that her husband and her second to youngest child had both passed away a month ealier, she wasn't sure why, and she now would like full exams for herself and each of her children to make sure that they were all okay. as the history behind their deaths unfolded, i learned that her 18 month old child had died of "diarrhea," and her husband had died of a rash that looked like a noose around his neck. i soon realized that her husband and the above mentioned man were one and the same.
they live in the village tintauleu... you may remember the name from martina's story. her grandfather was a prominent witchdoctor there who owned most of the land, and had a strong hold and influence over the people until the day he died. he had actually come to the clinic in san andres during his last few years and gave his life to god, repenting and turning from his ways... however, he returned a few months after that asking leslie how he could get the voices out of his head... the voices of the ones he had served for so long now. soon after, he returned to his witchdoctor ways and his visits to the clinic were less and less until the day he passed away. within the past three years, we have personally diagnosed at least three families from that village with aids, and as the numbers of people we see and treat from there grow, we often find sad stories of malnutrition, and the spiritual poverty is apparent in almost all who enter.
so, i started with an aids test, but quickly and gladly discovered that it was negative according to our tests. although obviously lacking in food, her children all appeared healthy, and when i asked her about a relationship with god, i saw the first smile play across her lips since she had walked in the door as she told me that her god had gotten her through and would continue to. praise god. it continues to amaze me the strength of faith that emerges in the midst of difficult circumstances...
she told me that at that time she had enough corn to get her through for a bit, and she soon after started working for a neighbor fertilizing his fields to make a little more money. however the work has ended, her corn is gone, and the past couple times that she has come in, their recent meals have consisted of a couple tortillas and herbs. we have been able to help her out with food through the nutrition program, but i am realizing more and more that she needs more than just our food... and i do not know what to do. we have always believed in the mentality of "teaching them to fish instead of giving them fish," and i would love for her to have a job that would provide a steady income, even if just a little bit. but as our rainy season has resembled the dry season more than the rainy, more than a few families are struggling to make ends meet, and food, jobs, and money seem scarce.
in the past couple weeks, i have searched out different microfinance programs and different textiles that she could make and sell, but the truth is that all of those options are jobs in and of themselves for the person that will set them up, and they require knowledge in areas that not all people (myself included) are trained in. they require more than just the heart - they require time, resources, knowledge... and as i already wonder how my life will change with the addition of a baby, i have been forced to face my limitations again.
i don't know why this one situation has affected me so much more than others... i think that i just grow so weary of watching these women and children come in with basic needs unmet, and watch them walk right back out the door into a world that has been so harsh for them from the beginning. i have no doubt that God is in control, and i have no doubt that He loves them more than i ever could... i know that He works miracles today as much as He ever did (because i have seen them), and i know that prayer is the greatest thing that i can do for this family and so many others. but i still cannot help but wonder why?
and as i am forced to acknowledge my own limitations and my own blessings, i realize that there is absolutely no reason at all that i live the life i do and she lives the life she does. there are so many things we hear people say, and if we are honest, we have all thought ourselves at times... "they are poor because they do not know how to manage money," "well, if they would stop having so many kids!" or " well, if they would just follow jesus and stop living in sin." but the Truth is that i do not deserve the blessings or the life i have more than she does... i have not earned it more, i have not worked harder for it, i have not sinned less, i have not been more pure, i have not been perfect, i have not always made the right choices, i did not choose where i was born, who my family is, or what my nationality is.... there is absolutely no reason, except for God's grace.
and while i wish i could end this story right now with a happy one-liner, the truth is that this story has not ended. she still sits in her room, working hard to make the beans and rice and oats that we gave her stretch over the next week, wondering when the next group will go to the coast lands to cut sugar cane on the large plantations there... a trip that she will make with her five children for a few months in hopes to be able to get enough money to make it through another year...
i know that there are needs everywhere in the world, and i know that guatemala is not without God's grace or hope. but i also know that "to whom much is given, much is required..."
and we, america, have been given much.
and not just in the areas of money... we have an education system that exceeds in fourth grade the level of education that these kids will graduate with here. we have been taught how to manage and critically think from a young age. we have been raised in a country that, at least as of right now, still acknowledges God and christianity above all other religions. we have a creative God who longs to use us in different areas of His body... who calls us and molds us and gave us a creativity and ability to give so much more to Him and those around us than just our money.
we have been given so much! what are we doing with it?
a few months ago, a woman came in with her five children in tow, aged 8 years old to five months old. she quietly explained to me that her husband and her second to youngest child had both passed away a month ealier, she wasn't sure why, and she now would like full exams for herself and each of her children to make sure that they were all okay. as the history behind their deaths unfolded, i learned that her 18 month old child had died of "diarrhea," and her husband had died of a rash that looked like a noose around his neck. i soon realized that her husband and the above mentioned man were one and the same.
they live in the village tintauleu... you may remember the name from martina's story. her grandfather was a prominent witchdoctor there who owned most of the land, and had a strong hold and influence over the people until the day he died. he had actually come to the clinic in san andres during his last few years and gave his life to god, repenting and turning from his ways... however, he returned a few months after that asking leslie how he could get the voices out of his head... the voices of the ones he had served for so long now. soon after, he returned to his witchdoctor ways and his visits to the clinic were less and less until the day he passed away. within the past three years, we have personally diagnosed at least three families from that village with aids, and as the numbers of people we see and treat from there grow, we often find sad stories of malnutrition, and the spiritual poverty is apparent in almost all who enter.
so, i started with an aids test, but quickly and gladly discovered that it was negative according to our tests. although obviously lacking in food, her children all appeared healthy, and when i asked her about a relationship with god, i saw the first smile play across her lips since she had walked in the door as she told me that her god had gotten her through and would continue to. praise god. it continues to amaze me the strength of faith that emerges in the midst of difficult circumstances...
she told me that at that time she had enough corn to get her through for a bit, and she soon after started working for a neighbor fertilizing his fields to make a little more money. however the work has ended, her corn is gone, and the past couple times that she has come in, their recent meals have consisted of a couple tortillas and herbs. we have been able to help her out with food through the nutrition program, but i am realizing more and more that she needs more than just our food... and i do not know what to do. we have always believed in the mentality of "teaching them to fish instead of giving them fish," and i would love for her to have a job that would provide a steady income, even if just a little bit. but as our rainy season has resembled the dry season more than the rainy, more than a few families are struggling to make ends meet, and food, jobs, and money seem scarce.
in the past couple weeks, i have searched out different microfinance programs and different textiles that she could make and sell, but the truth is that all of those options are jobs in and of themselves for the person that will set them up, and they require knowledge in areas that not all people (myself included) are trained in. they require more than just the heart - they require time, resources, knowledge... and as i already wonder how my life will change with the addition of a baby, i have been forced to face my limitations again.
i don't know why this one situation has affected me so much more than others... i think that i just grow so weary of watching these women and children come in with basic needs unmet, and watch them walk right back out the door into a world that has been so harsh for them from the beginning. i have no doubt that God is in control, and i have no doubt that He loves them more than i ever could... i know that He works miracles today as much as He ever did (because i have seen them), and i know that prayer is the greatest thing that i can do for this family and so many others. but i still cannot help but wonder why?
and as i am forced to acknowledge my own limitations and my own blessings, i realize that there is absolutely no reason at all that i live the life i do and she lives the life she does. there are so many things we hear people say, and if we are honest, we have all thought ourselves at times... "they are poor because they do not know how to manage money," "well, if they would stop having so many kids!" or " well, if they would just follow jesus and stop living in sin." but the Truth is that i do not deserve the blessings or the life i have more than she does... i have not earned it more, i have not worked harder for it, i have not sinned less, i have not been more pure, i have not been perfect, i have not always made the right choices, i did not choose where i was born, who my family is, or what my nationality is.... there is absolutely no reason, except for God's grace.
and while i wish i could end this story right now with a happy one-liner, the truth is that this story has not ended. she still sits in her room, working hard to make the beans and rice and oats that we gave her stretch over the next week, wondering when the next group will go to the coast lands to cut sugar cane on the large plantations there... a trip that she will make with her five children for a few months in hopes to be able to get enough money to make it through another year...
i know that there are needs everywhere in the world, and i know that guatemala is not without God's grace or hope. but i also know that "to whom much is given, much is required..."
and we, america, have been given much.
and not just in the areas of money... we have an education system that exceeds in fourth grade the level of education that these kids will graduate with here. we have been taught how to manage and critically think from a young age. we have been raised in a country that, at least as of right now, still acknowledges God and christianity above all other religions. we have a creative God who longs to use us in different areas of His body... who calls us and molds us and gave us a creativity and ability to give so much more to Him and those around us than just our money.
we have been given so much! what are we doing with it?
posted by katie at 5:18 PM
2 Comments:
amen.
My feeling exactly, Hannah! Thank you for sharing your heart Katie!
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