the women we see
monday september 11
while there are many things we see here that are heart-breaking, one of the things that is starting to really tug at me is the state of the women. i wrote an email to a friend of mine within the first few weeks i was here, and i described it like this:
"the people here are a little different than what i expected. they are very gentle, very tender, and very reserved people. they all look like they are about 40 when they are usually closer to 20. and i know this sounds cliche, but truly, i look into their eyes and i just want to sit down and hear their life story. i can't even imagine it. i love the old men with their work worn hands and their sun worn, wrinkled faces; there is something comforting in their smile... like they are content with the fact that their life consists primarily of getting up in the morning, working their land, being with their wife and 14 children, 200 grandchildren, and then going to bed tired at night; they are happy when the food comes, and go work at the coast when the food doesn't come. but, even as i write that, i know that that is not true for the majority of the families that live here. and i am reminded of that when i look into the eyes of the women. they are often looking at their hands due to fear, rejection, humiliation, exhaustion. there is a large amount of physical, sexual, emotional abuse that happens to the women by their husbands. they are looked at as and treated like dirt. they are not educated, and no one sees any value in it. for many of them, their life consists of getting up, finding food, cooking food, taking care of a million screaming babies, and trying to keep their husbands pleased. oftentimes, though, the husbands are drunk and will do whatever they want anyway. and when the husbands leave or die, so does the woman's very livelihood; there is no one to work the land, bring home food, or work to get money for food."
now, the facts behind a lot of what i wrote to my friend are based on my initial observations in this country and are of course not applicable to all families in guatemala or this region of quiche; however, while i know i still have much to learn about this culture and the concepts and beliefs that create the basis for daily living for these people, i am finding these facts to be true for a lot of the women we have seen and heard about. clinic on saturday was one of those blessed days where we seemed to be able to spend more time with each patient and minister to them a little more holistically than we sometimes get to, and we saw three different women whose stories reminded me of the abandonment and downright abuse that is so commonplace for them.
many times, people will come in complaining of symptoms of stress and anxiety and asking for medicine to help them. we tell them we have no medicine that can take away their anxiety or depression, but we ask them if they are involved in a local church, share about how jesus is the only one who can truly provide peace amidst the worries of this life, and then give them a bible and pray with them. these were the complaints of one of the first women we saw who came in with her two children. as we asked more questions and she shared more of her life, we learned that her husband had left for the states when she was pregnant with her daughter who looked to be about 6 or 7. since then, he had found a new family in the states and no longer planned on coming back or supporting his family here. sadly, this is a story that i have heard countless times already in the month and a half that i have been here. (it is also a cultural understanding among the indian population that if you remarry, then you give up your children from the previous husband, a sacrifice that some women are not willing to make, leaving them alone to find a way of life for them and their children.) we gave this lady a bible and a book for women about christ healing your heart, and talked with her about how only christ will bring the healing she needs. and as she left, i was left with a growing desire to be able to speak the words this woman needed to hear in her native language.
another patient was a young girl who came in with her mother thinking she might be pregnant, and after ultrasounding her, we gave her the happy news that she was indeed pregnant. however, she was followed by a man whose complaints also revolved around symptoms of stress. as the story came out more and more, we learned that his wife had had four miscarriages and "could not provide him with children." finally, he reluctantly revealed the main reason he had come when he asked if the young girl we had seen before him was pregnant. we told him that he would have to ask her that himself, and then also gave him a bible and talked with him about how only christ will bring the peace and answers that he is searching for in his life.
the third girl we saw was accompanied by her mother and little siblings. she was about 17 and looked at the floor through the entire consultation. at first, one might think she was simply shy or reserved, but looking closer, you would notice the nervous chewing of her lip and distracted twisting of the strings on her faja (belt) between her fingers. as she relayed her symptoms, seemingly random at first, leslie finally quietly asked her if she had been raped. the girl shook her head "no" while big tears welled up in her eyes, contradicting the answer she had just given.
i know there is abandonment and abuse in every country, every race, and every gender. i know that the situations we encounter in clinic are much more complicated than the surface level information we are given. and i know that there is need for prayers of healing and grace in so many lives, especially on a day when our own country, the united states, remembers injustice that has been brought on them.
however, i am asking that you would also send up a prayer for the women of this country today. that they will find healing, grace, freedom, and love that can only be found in our God. and that we will be faithful to take them by the hand, match our step with theirs, and lead them to this God, one consulta at a time, one Scripture at a time, one prayer at a time.
while there are many things we see here that are heart-breaking, one of the things that is starting to really tug at me is the state of the women. i wrote an email to a friend of mine within the first few weeks i was here, and i described it like this:
"the people here are a little different than what i expected. they are very gentle, very tender, and very reserved people. they all look like they are about 40 when they are usually closer to 20. and i know this sounds cliche, but truly, i look into their eyes and i just want to sit down and hear their life story. i can't even imagine it. i love the old men with their work worn hands and their sun worn, wrinkled faces; there is something comforting in their smile... like they are content with the fact that their life consists primarily of getting up in the morning, working their land, being with their wife and 14 children, 200 grandchildren, and then going to bed tired at night; they are happy when the food comes, and go work at the coast when the food doesn't come. but, even as i write that, i know that that is not true for the majority of the families that live here. and i am reminded of that when i look into the eyes of the women. they are often looking at their hands due to fear, rejection, humiliation, exhaustion. there is a large amount of physical, sexual, emotional abuse that happens to the women by their husbands. they are looked at as and treated like dirt. they are not educated, and no one sees any value in it. for many of them, their life consists of getting up, finding food, cooking food, taking care of a million screaming babies, and trying to keep their husbands pleased. oftentimes, though, the husbands are drunk and will do whatever they want anyway. and when the husbands leave or die, so does the woman's very livelihood; there is no one to work the land, bring home food, or work to get money for food."
now, the facts behind a lot of what i wrote to my friend are based on my initial observations in this country and are of course not applicable to all families in guatemala or this region of quiche; however, while i know i still have much to learn about this culture and the concepts and beliefs that create the basis for daily living for these people, i am finding these facts to be true for a lot of the women we have seen and heard about. clinic on saturday was one of those blessed days where we seemed to be able to spend more time with each patient and minister to them a little more holistically than we sometimes get to, and we saw three different women whose stories reminded me of the abandonment and downright abuse that is so commonplace for them.
many times, people will come in complaining of symptoms of stress and anxiety and asking for medicine to help them. we tell them we have no medicine that can take away their anxiety or depression, but we ask them if they are involved in a local church, share about how jesus is the only one who can truly provide peace amidst the worries of this life, and then give them a bible and pray with them. these were the complaints of one of the first women we saw who came in with her two children. as we asked more questions and she shared more of her life, we learned that her husband had left for the states when she was pregnant with her daughter who looked to be about 6 or 7. since then, he had found a new family in the states and no longer planned on coming back or supporting his family here. sadly, this is a story that i have heard countless times already in the month and a half that i have been here. (it is also a cultural understanding among the indian population that if you remarry, then you give up your children from the previous husband, a sacrifice that some women are not willing to make, leaving them alone to find a way of life for them and their children.) we gave this lady a bible and a book for women about christ healing your heart, and talked with her about how only christ will bring the healing she needs. and as she left, i was left with a growing desire to be able to speak the words this woman needed to hear in her native language.
another patient was a young girl who came in with her mother thinking she might be pregnant, and after ultrasounding her, we gave her the happy news that she was indeed pregnant. however, she was followed by a man whose complaints also revolved around symptoms of stress. as the story came out more and more, we learned that his wife had had four miscarriages and "could not provide him with children." finally, he reluctantly revealed the main reason he had come when he asked if the young girl we had seen before him was pregnant. we told him that he would have to ask her that himself, and then also gave him a bible and talked with him about how only christ will bring the peace and answers that he is searching for in his life.
the third girl we saw was accompanied by her mother and little siblings. she was about 17 and looked at the floor through the entire consultation. at first, one might think she was simply shy or reserved, but looking closer, you would notice the nervous chewing of her lip and distracted twisting of the strings on her faja (belt) between her fingers. as she relayed her symptoms, seemingly random at first, leslie finally quietly asked her if she had been raped. the girl shook her head "no" while big tears welled up in her eyes, contradicting the answer she had just given.
i know there is abandonment and abuse in every country, every race, and every gender. i know that the situations we encounter in clinic are much more complicated than the surface level information we are given. and i know that there is need for prayers of healing and grace in so many lives, especially on a day when our own country, the united states, remembers injustice that has been brought on them.
however, i am asking that you would also send up a prayer for the women of this country today. that they will find healing, grace, freedom, and love that can only be found in our God. and that we will be faithful to take them by the hand, match our step with theirs, and lead them to this God, one consulta at a time, one Scripture at a time, one prayer at a time.
posted by katie at 12:01 PM
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