tiny juana: part two

well, after a week of fighting and growing, little juana left our clinic. there is much to the story, and much that we do not fully know, but right now she and her mother sit in a room in the hospital in quiche where she is living without oxygen and is being treated by a pediatrician and checked in on by friends of ours (matt and heidi - heidi is an american doctor working in the city of quiche with the mission agape in action; they have been helping us in the clinics and were in san andres the day we brought jauna home. if you are getting sick of reading my blog, you can read some cool stuff on theirs at www.agapeenaccion.blogspot.com). and let me tell you the many answers to prayer that it takes to even be able to write that last sentence.

first of all, it is a miracle that she was admitted to the hospital. many times, babies will simply be sent home if they are too malnourished instead of being admitted to be treated. it is also not surprising for there to be discrimination against the indian families (which juana is a part of) because they are less educated (generally speaking) and often only speak quiche (which is the case with rosa, juana's mother). which leads into another blessing: that rosa was allowed to stay in the hospital with her baby; the families are not always allowed to stay with the patient. next, when juana left us, she was still dependent on oxygen, and when we arrived at her home (which she had traveled to without oxygen - about 15-20 minutes), she already looked worse than when we left our clinic. however, she is currently in the hospital without oxygen and doing fine, according to the reports we have been given. it is also wonderful that heidi and matt have been able to check in on her daily (their house is on the hospital grounds and heidi has worked with many of the staff at the hospital). and lastly, it is an answer to prayer that she is being looked after by a pediatrician because by the end of the week, we wondered if there was more than simple malnutrition that caused her state (something such as a heart defect or chronic/congenital problem). since she is being treated in the hospital, it will be much easier for an underlying condition to be caught and for her to be able to be treated for it.

and that is just the tangible answers to prayer in this situation. spiritually, i found myself learning much more than i possibly had to offer. i watched as throughout the week, this mother chose to depend on God instead of us or her own strength, as she kept gently smiling and telling us that she knew it was in God's hands. i watched as the guatemalans that work here came into the room to check up on the baby and pray with and for rosa and juana in their own native language. i watched rosa's family come to visit and make sure that their little granchild was being cared for properly; it was so refreshing to see how much they cared for her. and i joined hands with this little family, leslie, matt, and heidi one last time as we laid it all before God again.

praise God.

of course every situation brings both good and bad, denial and blessings, both heartache and joy. and this situation was no exception. there were many sleepless hours, a few walks and a phone call to hannah, feelings of fear, inadequacy, uselessness, and frustration, and times of searching God and Scripture. i faced the tears that come when you realize that someone really might die and the helplessness that is felt when you know there is nothing you can do to stop it. i had never realized how much faith i had in the health care system until there wasn't one to depend on for this baby to be treated. and i never realized how little faith i had in God until He was all i had to depend on for this baby to survive. i had forgotten how important prayer and the body of christ are until i sat down to write an email asking close friends to intercede for juana's life and the faith of her family. i had forgotten how sweet jesus is until one late night i found this little mother kneeling by her bed in the dark praying for her little girl. as i held juana for the last time in our clinic, i remembered the bittersweetness of saying good-bye to someone who has become a part of your heart, yet knowing that they were never yours to keep. i grew a little stronger in the belief that God really does want to be the first one we turn to and the One we hide ourselves in. and i stand a little more in awe of a God who moves among the tears and the laughter, protecting and comforting those who seek Him, proving again his worthiness of our lives as he works out His will on this earth.

i know that often when a situation is over, certain aspects are forgotten and other aspects are glorified until the story reads however the person wants to remember it; i am sure that already there are aspects i have forgotten and others i have chosen to remember. i know that my eyes and my thoughts are all you have to navigate you through this experience, although even if i could take you through each moment of that week, i know you would each read it quite differently.

so, no matter the feelings, thoughts, memories, or forgotten moments, i hope that what you remember from this story is the neccesity of the body of Christ, the wonder of prayer, and the comfort and strength that is found in the power of the God we love. although the specifics are different, this story is one that is told day after day in many different countries and many different lives. i thank you for your prayers in this specific story; i pray that they led you closer to God as you brought us before His throne.